What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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