I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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