Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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