i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
