i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
How's work?
Spinning.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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