he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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