I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
