i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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