Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
This girl is more easily done than said...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
