chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You don't make any sense
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