marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Randomize
