I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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