If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
