Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
