Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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