so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
