I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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