How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
