i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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