The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
