I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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