i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
