go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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