Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
