We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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