Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
