She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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