my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
