she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
