What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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