Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
