i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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