I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
