just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
