he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
