apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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