Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
