just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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