mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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