he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
