okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
