Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
