The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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