it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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