actually, I'm a sock model
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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