He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Randomize
