this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
