dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
we're so committed to being not committed
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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