Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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