Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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